ED has very little to do with food
and even less to do with being disordered
When we hear the term “Eating Disorders” we immediately assume it must be a problem with food or eating. As we are advised in the wonderful book by Miguel Ruiz,“The Four Agreements”: Don’t make assumptions. Assumptions are dangerous.
Due to a lack of understanding of a person's mind, we assume that when someone has difficulties nourishing themselves, it is solely about food.
The Titanic didn't sink because of the iceberg they saw from the ship. The Titanic sank because of the iceberg below sea level. The part that they didn’t see. This analogy is exactly what it is like when working with Eating Distress/Eating Disorders (ED).
From over 30 years experience, we have learned that if we do not address the underlying issues (the iceberg below), the person will not be free from the distress that contributes to their behaviours around nourishment.
Focusing so much on food can make a person even more food-obsessed. These days, people follow many food and nutritional resources, and many of them are of high quality. However, when you are recovering from ED, you need to limit the collection of food information. Too much information about eating and not eating can make us very disconnected from our body and mind.
We live in times where commercialisation is encouraging obsession with what we are eating.
Food obsession can be a masking element.
ED is a coping mechanism for life circumstances. We live in a world that is constantly hearing fearful things. Wars, crime, global warming, corruption of formerly trusted instituions, the rising right wing and it’s politics, and much more.
It’s time to ask some questions:
Do we need to know it all?
What impact is it having on us?
These days many people feel very unsafe. Lack of safety increases the need for control. They are subconsciously developing coping mechanisms which give them the feeling of control. The need for control is not a personality trait. When a person feels unsafe, they crave the feeling of being in control. They get this from controlling their body, size, and their food intake . It is a false feeling of control. It is merely a destructive illusion.
At Marino Therapy Centre we call recovery, a discovery. In the process of discovery, a person learns to achieve a feeling of being in control from learning about themselves. They learn and discover who they are, and find their place in this world. Each person on this discovery path, is learning to feel safe.
ED is a reaction to life. In recovery, we are learning to act, not react.
So, if you are just focusing on trying to “sort out the weight”, or the behaviour around food, you are on a roundabout going around and around, and eventually you will finish in a cul de sac.
In recovery we need to first focus on learning the language of freedom. We need to learn to apply supportive thinking, and the connection between feeling, thinking and our behaviour. The changes in our behaviour around food will come later.
Recovery is learning how to make the best out of this precious life which was given to us. The food is just the fuel for this amazing journey.